Baggage handling: How to laugh at our parents and ourselves
Performance at Le Bouche-à-Oreille, Brussels, on 15.11.2024. Photo by Annelise Badinand.
How do we handle the burdensome baggage of our parents? My comic one-man show, Pieces of a Man, began as an attempt to understand my late father, Marcello.
An Italian-Libyan Jew, Holocaust survivor, and larger-than-life character, he lived a breakneck rollercoaster of a life, which I explore in the performance. But what started as a deeply personal story has shown me how closely related we all are.
Audiences have made that clear. After a performance, people often approach me to share stories of their own parents. I hear about distant or challenging relationships, heavy drinking mothers, overbearing fathers, stories as complex and gripping as soap-opera plotlines. One man simply said, “You made me hate my father a bit less,” then disappeared into the crowd. I took that as a win. Such encounters make me feel like we’re all on the same journey, grappling with our past and how it shapes us.
Pieces of a Man traces my father’s life, from childhood imprisonment in the Nazi concentration camp of Bergen-Belsen to a life of crazy business ventures, casinos – even an unexplained bomb attack. A charismatic alpha male on the outside, Marcello was haunted in ways he’d never acknowledge. He dragged his loved ones on a wild ride until he burned out. And after his death, our only inheritance was unfinished business.
Amid one of my mid-life crises, I felt compelled to discover more about him. I interviewed relatives in Israel, Italy, Canada, and the UK, each with their own version of "Marcello." He was a hero or a handful, courageous or reckless – depending on who you ask. Each story added dimensions to my image of him, moving me towards empathy. My project evolved through different media – it was first a podcast concept, then a half-written book, then a documentary film – before I settled on performance. It was my way to make the baggage as light as possible.
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Since the first time in the art space Hectolitre – a former swingers’ club in the Marolles – Pieces of a Man has played all over, in cities like London, Amsterdam, Berlin, and Antwerp. Selling out at Belgium’s top festival TAZ in Ostend last summer was a way more cheerful experience than the actual North Sea coast.
Each performance is a fresh encounter with my father’s legacy – and a connection with a new community. The show’s impact on audiences led me to develop a "parental storytelling" workshop. Based on my background in workshop design, I created the programme to help people “reauthor” the stories they tell themselves about their parents. This process supports us to take ownership over our stories, so we can move forward in peace.
The comic aspect of my show is central to opening up tricky subjects. For me, levity is the only way to deal with a dad who was so heavy, in more ways than one. Comedy has always been a tool to process the unprocessable, to bring light to the darkest places. It’s a survival trick that’s always been handy for us Jews. Bring that to the stage and you have group therapy.
As we laugh and cry together we become part of something larger – a collective act of healing beyond any single story. Ultimately, it shows that we’re all at the same baggage carousel – that what we schlep alone can be the basis for powerful human connection.
This article was originally published in The Brussels Times: original article here.